Wednesday, 24 December 2014


Christmas time. For thousands of years, Christmas has been a very special time for many people. Personally, I love Christmas. Always have.
Christmas is the celebration for the birth of Christ. But it is not a Christian festival. It never has been and never should be. Not really.
No, Christmas is a celebration of mankind. The secular message of Christmas was first popularized by Charles Dickens but the idea has been around since long before.
Christmas is first and foremost, a festival of hope. We all hope for something. The Jews hoped for a messiah. Children hope for presents. Students hope for one more mark. Hope is what keeps us alive, more than food or water. Physical sustenance will only let us survive. Christmas celebrates the hope that lets us live. We don't despair at sunset because we know the sun comes up at dawn.
Secondly, Christmas is a time for forgiveness. In a world where grown men massacre children, forgiveness is a very hard thing to achieve. Yet there are no enemies on Christmas day. All feuds must at least temporarily end on Christmas Eve. There are only friends on Christmas. Friends and Family.
Which brings us to the third and most important aspect of Christmas. Christmas is a celebration of Family. Families are not blood. Familial bonds are forged through mutual love. A brother you grew up with might be a stranger to you while an old friend is like a brother. People have often claimed that family can't be chosen. Family can be chosen. You can't choose who you share blood with, but the bonds of family run deeper than blood. Christmas is a time when families come together. I prefer not to make promises that I can't keep (which is basically any promise) but one thing I long ago promised myself is that no matter how bad my relationship with my family might become, on Christmas we will be a family again. Because Christmas celebrates the bonds of family, not the blood.
More than anything, on Christmas day I hope we remember the song of the Little Drummer Boy. The drummer boy has nothing to give except his music, but he gives it willingly and wholeheartedly. When we give something to others, no matter how little it might be, We must learn to give it like the Little Drummer Boy. Because charity is just an expression of our love for our extended family. All human beings are bound together with the shared bond of mortality. We are all tied to each other, whether we like it or not. Christmas is the time to appreciate those bonds and be there for each other. No one deserves to be alone on Christmas.
Christmas is also a time to appreciate the wonder of life. It's a time to see lights in the trees and presents in the stockings. A time to believe in fat old men who dress up in red costumes and bring smiles to the world.
I hope this Christmas finds you together with your family, with your heart full of forgiveness, eyes full of wonder and a life full of hope.
God bless us, Everyone.
Merry Christmas 

Saturday, 6 December 2014


All drugs are destructive. You know you shouldn't have any, but after the first little morsel, you can't stop yourself. You want more. And more. And more. Until you finally reach the point where you realize that the fantasy you were living has shattered you inside and the real world is much too harsh and cold.
All drugs get you on a high. They make you feel like everything in the world has a new color. All drugs are dangerous but the most dangerous of all, is love.
Love, whether requited or not, is more addictive than heroin. When you're in love, you have a bigger high than weed. and when it ends, it hurts more than any detox.
When you're with the person whom you think is more perfect than anything else in the world, you feel like you want nothing else in the world. His friends are your friends. His life is your life. Everybody looks at you and sees you as His Girlfriend. People tell you that you're meant to be together, that he is serious about you. And you believe him.
You fail to see his flaws because love gets you high. You're too blinded to know that you're being played. Not until he leaves and you realize that the high is over and drug is wearing off.
Like detoxing, the end of a relationship has stages. Whether it's just a crush or a serious relationship, these stages are the same for all.
First comes denial. You tell yourself that the rejection is your fault. You refuse to believe that he doesn't love you, probably never did. You spend your nights crying yourself to sleep and your days wondering if he will come back.
Then comes anger, You hate him for having played you. You hate your mutual friends for not warning you and for abandoning you after you broke up. You hate his family, his school, his house, his life. You hate everything about him, everything he did to you and for you. You hate the very memory of him. But above all, you hate yourself for having fallen for him.
After the first two stages, the Third stage depends on who you are more than who he is. You can either choose to set fire to the memories and light up the cold night of rejection, leave back the bitter memories and move on. Which is slightly harder than launching a potato into space using a catapult. Alternatively, you could hold on to those memories. You can learn from them. You can lock your heart up in a box and never trust again. Which is possibly the only way to keep it from breaking again.
No matter which way you choose, detoxing is inevitable. With the high comes the withdrawal. You can't stay broken forever, unless you choose to be. Sometimes, you miss the drug so much, you feel like relapsing. But the best way to move on, is to let it go.
Let go of the anger and the betrayal. What he and his friends did to you can hurt you. But it won't destroy you. Not unless you let it.
We're almost always too hurt by the ones we thought would stand by us, to see the ones who did.
They say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. Not because once you get hurt you can't hurt again, but because it's when you're lying on the sidewalk with your ribs broken in and your legs fractured that you find the people who will help you up and carry you to safety.  
So basically what I’m saying is, if someone broke your heart, or you’re reeling from a lost relationship, it’s okay to be hurt. It’s normal to feel alone. But you’re never truly alone. Not really.

So just let the b*****d/b***h burn in hell, let go and get on with your life. Somewhere out there is the perfect person for you. 

Monday, 20 October 2014

Chaos - Opposing the Religion of "What Will People Think"

"If everyone would stop caring what people think. The world would be a much happier place."
My friend has some moments of deep wisdom alternating with moments of craziness. But for some reason, these words stuck with me.
Sure, they've been said again and again so many times that they seem to have lost their meaning. But that doesn't make it any less true. Our whole life is built on the philosophy and dogma of "what will people think".
Even those of us who try to follow this quote occasionally go against our own philosophy. Point in focus: the labels of a teenage girl.
If she talks to boys, she is a slut. If she doesn't talk to boys, she is a wallflower. If she shows skin, she is tempting for rape. If she dresses comfortably, she is a slob. We all claim to stand for gender equality, yet often in the same breath say things like these. 
The way we walk, the way we talk, the way we dress, the way we think, even the way we eat is decided by the collective consciousness that make up our social etiquette, the scripture of the religion of  "what will people think".
Once, a person's career was chosen by birth. Those days are said to be behind us. Yet even today, our professions are chosen for us by our birth or by what the majority of the people say. Any attempt to break out and choose our own paths is a rebellion against the social order.
We are blind and proud upholders of a pointless tradition. 
The world would have us believe blindly and devoutly in this religion of "what will people think". They think that doing what we want will upset the peace and civilisation created by our forefathers. The chaos would destroy us. Our whole way of life is built on creating and propagating order and quashing out all chaos.
 Yet chaos is an integral part of nature.
Every single being born on the surface of the Earth has at least one strand of chaotic DNA. It is this chaos in our very being that is responsible for our continued existence.
To understand this better, let's take the example of a string quartet. There will be a violin, a viola, a cello and a double bass. These four instruments combine in perfect order to create sweet, beautiful and simply perfect music. Now throw in an electric guitar.
You may say that the order has been destroyed. The perfection has been blemished and the beauty marred. It is not how it should be. The social order has been overturned.
Nothing could be more beautiful.
And so, like the chaotic strand of DNA that controls our destiny, like the electric guitar in the string quartet, and as my genius of a friend said just before passing gas in my face, if we all would only live our life as we wish, if we would only stop following the religion of "what will people think", the world would be a much happier place.


Sunday, 5 October 2014

3 tales

Recently I read Steve Jobs address at Stanford. It got me thinking, what would I say if I were to give an address like that? Why not a speech to my juniors? This is what I came up with (quite obviously I was influenced by what I read):

Good morning everyone.
Seeing you all here makes me quite happy. I have been asked to speak in front of you and, honestly, I have no idea what advice I can give you. I am not even close to being the model student, forget a model human being. So I am going to tell you three stories:

The first story happened years ago. A boy not very different from you decided to try for engineering. He studied hours on end, preparing for the fateful examination. He didn't go for any form of coaching or special tuition. But when the results came, he cracked the exam with quite respectable marks. People were all quite astonished. His brother understood the message. Determination will get you places. But the boy's brother didn't follow that message. He didn't follow what he knew was right. So that is the moral of this story: Knowing the right thing is useless if you don't follow through
The second story is about pride. This story begins with the FIFA World Cup. A boy supported four teams, but on the fateful day when Germany played against Brazil, he was on the side of the Brazillians. As the first goal came into the net, then the second, then the third, he kept wondering what was going on, stunned by what he had thought impossible. Eventually the fifth came, and the sixth. By the time the seventh goal was netted the boy cam across a message: Pride will bring even the strongest crashing down.
The third story is about funerals. A girl ( I don't want to be a chauvinist) once went to a funeral. She noticed how many people cried for the death of their beloved friend and relative. But as she grew up she saw people on their deathbeds asking loved ones not to cry. The greatest surprise was when she saw people crying for the death of truly bad people. She learned three things: a)Funerals are for the living, not the dead. b)No man is truly evil and c) a single tear shed on a man's grave can wash away more sins than a hundred confessions.
So my advice to you is this. Live, don't just survive. Find out the right thing, and follow it. Follow your heart. Always strive to keep pride far away. Love freely, get your heart broken. Break the rules, because it's better you break them than you let them break you. Find a cause and fight for it. Above all, live in such a way, that every tear that falls on your grave comes from a heart you touched. 
To all who heard me out patiently, you're awesome. And to all of you who are sleeping after my boring speech, sweet dreams. You're awesome too. Thank you.

Friday, 19 September 2014

On the Ledge

That's a loooong way down...

There are moments in your life when you feel like you're at the edge of a cliff, you can't see what's ahead, just darkness. You're scared that if you step off your ledge, you may plummet to your doom. Yup, that pretty much describes how I feel right now.

I finally have an idea what course I want to go for, but I can't bring myself to make the plunge and tell my parents. My failed Chemistry test isn't going to help things along either.

Back to the cliff-thingy. When you are pushed back on to one of those metaphorical ledges of comfort, you have two options: step away from the metaphorical edge and stay safe, or step forward. If you step forward, one of two things can happen to you: You have a pretty good chance to plummet to your imminent metaphorical doom. Or you could find that you've stepped on to a hidden bridge which will take you to the other side where everyday is metaphorical spring. (Yes, a lot of metaphors. I know.)

I've always hated decisions like those, and decisions in general. Once you pick an option it just seems all the other doors shut right away. Once you step off the ledge, either you survive or you don't. You can't step back. Indecision (and occasionally indigestion) is the bane of every teenager's existence.

Choices are a complicated thing. Each choice could have life-altering consequences. A choice can change your story, for better or for worse. Choices are never black and white, but always a subtle shade of grey. It seems so much easier not to choose. But then, if the hero doesn't make a choice, how will the story move forward? Iron-Man can't defeat the Mandarin if he can't choose whether he will or won't. So choices are inevitable. Yes, they are scary, but your choices become who you are. So if you never choose to be anything, you will end up as Nothing.

Our Choices make us who we are, and that is something no one can change. Things may go bad, our life might end in ruins, we may get kicked, stabbed, beaten down. But we still have the choice to get up and dust ourselves off. I won't go as far as to quote so-called "Success Guides" who advise people to bury their heads underground and think everything will be fine. Nothing will be fine. You can't live your life if everything is just fine. But when you pick an option, sure a few doors shut but perhaps, a few new doors open up too. So, at the end of the day, scary as they may be, our choices are inevitable. And perhaps, they were never so complicated. You just thought they were.

Once more back unto the cliff. We have three choices: a) step back b) fall c) find a bridge to success land. Or may be there's a fourth option. We fly.We can find a place no one else has ever seen, and live our lives as we want them to be. I know, it's a long-shot.
But it's a chance I'm willing to take.

You've got to go out there, jump off the cliff, and take chances. Patrick Warburton

Sunday, 14 September 2014

1st Little Step

15th September, 2014

Trying to write down my thoughts is most certainly not as easy as I thought it would be. Mostly because I have such little control over my own thoughts. A teacher once told me that I am a cynic. At the time I didn't know what it means. Come to think of it, I still don't know what it means.

Okay, I checked. So apparently I think people are all selfish. I don't get how that fits in because the sir was scolding me for sleeping in class. To be fair to myself, I never really liked him or his classes. But I digress.

I can't seem to think about myself so I'll say something about the first thing that pops to my mind: School. I'm sixteen, studying in the eleventh grade. The eleventh grade is a momentous time for Indian kids. It's the time when entrance coaching begins.

The stereotypical Indian household requires at least one child going for entrance coaching. In India, no one asks you what career you plan on choosing, they ask you whether you want to go for engineering or medicine. You decide what career you want after you get a degree. Luckily, unlike ninety per cent of Indian parents, my parents never forced me pick either of these. The only problem is that I have absolutely no idea what I want to do with my life.

So that puts me in my present situation, studying in a prestigious school of my city. The classes are boring (as they should be), the friends are fun (as my elders warn they won't be if I am ever in trouble) and overall, life is moving forward.

People often say, the best part of high school is the experience. Honestly, my experiences upto 10th grade would give anyone the impression that “high school” is the tenth circle of hell ( For those of you who have no idea what that means, Hell is supposed to have nine levels/circles). Then something life-altering happened. My mom got transferred.

I am originally from the beautiful city of Calicut (beautiful by my definition). My mom got transferred back here, so I was going to be staying in my hometown for the first time since I was two years old. I joined a new school and met new friends. New surroundings, new life. Basically everyone else in my family hates it here. I don't.

For the first time, I'm getting that high school experience immortalized in classic artworks like the evergreen Brian Adams song, Summer of '69 (and the not-so-­classic movie High School Musical, which I watched just because it was on).
Before coming to India about four years ago, I grew up in Bahrain and studied for four years in the Indian School, Bahrain. For the first time since I got on the flight leaving Bahrain, I've got that amazing feeling I used to have going to that school.

Let's be clear, I still don't find the studying part to be fun. If I did, that would be cause to worry. But I'm among like-­minded people, and that makes all the difference. Moving here has done wonders for certain other parts of my life as well, but more on that later.

The one thing that doesn't seem to have improved is my lack of direction. I still have no idea what to do with my life. And the fact that it's been more than a month (I think) since I've been to entrance coaching isn't exactly making my parents love me.

So far, after about five months here, I've met a couple of awesome, crazy people just like me and I couldn't be more content.Actually when I think about it, I could use some extra cash, a new phone, a little more free time and some idea about my career, but those can wait. Right now, I'm just going to focus on High School.
Oh, come to think of it, I have two records I have to complete waiting for me (in a different district. Long story, don't ask.) , a theatre exam I haven't studied for and the results of my other tests, including a chemistry exam I studied theatre for. I think that will make plenty of material for another blog post, granted of course, that I'm not confined to a dark room or kicked out of the house by then. So, Lots to look forward to...